Pocket shred of 'Shroud of Elgin' from De Villo Sloan, with Certificate of Authenticity

[Nancy Bell Scott]

It's a dream come true, and DVS made it happen! When he announced he was taking orders from trashpo aficionados for DK shroud shreds, I jumped at the chance and requested a pocket (as I believe pockets are underrated). Within a day or two, after no doubt a lot of hard work, DVS wrote back that not only had he located a pocket shred but he had already sent it off to me, with a Certificate of Authenticity:

Although a very satisfied owner of trashpo art from Diane already, I was beyond excited by the opportunity to obtain an official D-Kollectible from DKultNY, and as I understand it one of the first pieces of the Shroud of Elgin. The testimonials in DVS's certificate have already convinced me that my DK pocket shred will take me to paradise in short order, from where I too will want to add to the testimonials and help the Shroud of Elgin to reach its full potential. Orders are being taken, people, now don't miss out.

It is most special to me that DVS took his valuable time to write a rare personal note. In fact, these items arrived in the very first envelope ever to arrive in Maine from DVS, and that alone would be a thrill and adds immeasurably to the miraculous obtaining of the Shroud of Elgin pocket shred. DVS also threw in a few shreds of his own asemic art, which I prize just as much as my D-Kollectible! To document the facts in this paragraph, shown below are the envelope itself, with said shreds: Thanks so much, DVS, you're the best: you've made DKultMAINE happy and raised our trashpo prestige higher than one ever would have thought possible!

[DKeys]

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

[De Villo Sloan]

Ignore that woman behind the curtain!

 

Mail-artists from across the globe. Join me now!

 

Place your palm on your computer screen.

 

Place your palm on the Elgin Shroud on your computer screen!

[DKeys]

DKult Disclaimer: anyone posing as a cyber faith healer is not endorsed by DKult. Do NOT give this person any of your money. We at DKult find this irresponsible, opportunistic, and a damn good idea, but we can not be associated with said "miracle worker" unless a reality show is involved. Consider him/her religious spam and block them at your soonest. They do know how to coax your money out of your wallet. Snake oil salesman? No more like snake charmer. Snake in mirrors. Snake in the grass.

[Nancy Bell Scott]

At last, the real history behind the spell chick. Anyone who needs an Earth As A Planet class is going downhill, no wonder she's such a loser. (Sorry, Diane.) Gee, maybe prettylily was right about snake oil, my faith is starting to shake.

[DKeys]

[DKeys]

Sing it KDJ!!!  Do you see why she is in charge? She's tough but kind and strict but flexible. But DVS is trying to work his magic to melt our armour and we can not succumb or he will take DKult for every penny we are worth. The bread sales are going much better than expected and we need this money to build on the addition of the meditation garden and koi pond. DVS has that phat package coming. He is the reason my cats are conspiring against me. They will NOT let me find a way to blog until this matter is resolved. They are chewing on DVS' letter. They created a poltergeist in my printer so it would no longer work. 

And you're right DVS,  the spell chick was in my Earth As A Planet class at NU. She's smart, but never applied herself and that's how she ended up working at Google. 

[De Villo Sloan]

It's OK, KDJ, you're just doing your job. Like that line I like from Apocalypse Now: "You're an errand boy sent to collect a grocer's bill." 

[De Villo Sloan]

should be news of your head injury - I think the Spell Chick has joined Occupy Ning or something. No, wait, she was in DK's class at Northwestern. No wonder she can't spell. 

[De Villo Sloan]

KDJ, new of your head injury has made it's way through the network. I hope you are recovering and everything will be OK. The real Dark wall also had a head injury this summer from a falling tree branch. It's scary stuff. I do think your comment would go nicely in the D-Kollectible brochure. If the miracle doesn't take hold, next we'll try an online exorcism. 

[De Villo Sloan]

once I was blind but now I  can see!

once I was lost but now I am found

 

i hear you, i hear you