Cow Ear Muffs Buffallo Affirmations

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Comment by Rod Summers / VEC on September 8, 2009 at 11:36am

Wonderful! Another thank you Yves!

Comment by yves maraux on September 8, 2009 at 10:58am

The Cheese Poet

A poet's hope: to be,
like some valley cheese,
local, but prized elsewhere.

W. H. Auden (1907 - 1973)

What a perfect simile. I just love the idea that the poet aspires to be like - what else - cheese. Why then, such a paucity of verse about the subject? Gilbert K. Chesterton (1874-1936), a kindred spirit (in that he was obviously an unabashed turophile), once said:


Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

He took it upon himself to write an insightful essay entitled "The Poet and the Cheese," which is in his collection A Miscellany of Men. It contains the following sonnet:



Sonnet to a Stilton Cheese

Stilton, thou shouldst be living at this hour
And so thou art. Nor losest grace thereby;
England has need of thee, and so have I--
She is a Fen. Far as the eye can scour,
League after grassy league from Lincoln tower
To Stilton in the fields, she is a Fen.
Yet this high cheese, by choice of fenland men,
Like a tall green volcano rose in power.

Plain living and long drinking are no more,
And pure religion reading 'Household Words',
And sturdy manhood sitting still all day
Shrink, like this cheese that crumbles to its core;
While my digestion, like the House of Lords,
The heaviest burdens on herself doth lay.

But wait.. enter James McIntyre (1827-1906), The CHEESE Poet! Born in Scotland, he eventually settled in Ingersoll, Ontario, where "he was attentive to his business and was uniformly courteous and obliging. He was an entertaining conversationalist, and it has been said that he was the best Shakespearean scholar in Ingersoll..." (From his Obituary Notice in The Ingersoll Chronicle and Canadian Dairyman.)

Others, sadly, see him in a different light. "In Search of the World's Worst Writers" asserts "...but it was at Ingersoll, Ontario that he discovered the great theme of his work, the one subject which could make his verse soar to the deepest depths of imbecility: cheese. McIntyre's Cheese Cycle (or, as some experts call it, 'The Dairyad') includes such poems as 'Lines read at a Dairymaids' Social, 1887', 'Fertile Lands and Mammoth Cheese', 'Lines Read at a Dairymen's Supper', 'Father Ranney, the Cheese Pioneer' and 'Hints to Cheese Makers'."

Not only do the cretins equate cheese and imbecility, they don't bother to mention beautiful verses like "Prophecy of a Ten Ton Cheese" and "Oxford Cheese Ode." But the most egregious omission: "Ode on the Mammoth Cheese." Any truly discerning turophile would have to consider this MacIntyre's magnum opus. Oh, how I curse and disparage such a blatant exclusion!!!

James McIntyre actually published two well-received volumes of poetry during his life. Again, from his obituary: "Mr. McIntyre received many complimentary letters from noted writers and others regarding his poems. While they were probably not of the highest literary standard, there was an unmistakable sentiment that made them deservedly popular. There was a sincerity about his poems that was characteristic of the man." He was also included in several anthologies that were published posthumously, such as Oh! Queen of Cheese: Selections from James McIntyre, the Cheese Poet.

Alas, his greatest notoriety, and certainly most dubious honour, came from being memorialized in Very Bad Poetry. This volume also includes such questionable specimens as "Lines Written for a Friend on the Death of His Brother, Caused by a Railway Train Running over Him Whilst He Was in a State of Inebriation." What pathetic company for the luminous words of our dairy bard!

More recently, he was incorporated into The World's Worst Poetry: A Compilation of Rhyme Without Reason. Both books include the aforementioned masterpiece, "Ode on the Mammoth Cheese." Here it is in its glorious entirety (enlightening annotations are available elsewhere). Judge for yourself, my friends - judge for yourself.



Ode on the Mammoth Cheese
(weight over seven thousand pounds)

We have seen the Queen of cheese,
Laying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze --
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provincial Show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.

Cows numerous as a swarm of bees --
Or as the leaves upon the trees --
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivalled Queen of Cheese.

May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you off as far as
The great World's show at Paris.

Of the youth -- beware of these --
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek; then songs or glees
We could not sing o' Queen of Cheese.

We'rt thou suspended from baloon,
You'd caste a shade, even at noon;
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.



Posted in Cheese Thoughts by katex at September 24, 2003 02:25 PM

Comments
Some Cheese-Related Hai Ku:

No cheese is like thee
Beautiful blog harbenger
You are far too sweet

Damn, that's a nice cheese
So perfectly soft and good
On this cracker, you!

If I eat this cheese
I am sure to be happy.
Happiness is good.

American cheese
Is the only cheese I hate
Ironic or not.

Sky a silver sheet
Dances the sun on the clouds
Hey! Gorgonzola!

Comment by Katerina Nikoltsou (MomKat) on September 3, 2009 at 8:49pm

Well, of course they are on their way-to-the-full-moon tonight.
Check it out "Moon" group :)

Comment by Katerina Nikoltsou (MomKat) on September 3, 2009 at 8:47pm

Moooney cow! nice stuff Wacystuff! :)
And here comes Ageladitsa with her two calves together:
Agela and Ditsa
(Greek cow language lesson: "ageladitsa" is Greek for "little cow")
Mooooooooooooore to come!

Comment by Rod Summers / VEC on September 3, 2009 at 5:19pm

I agree, great to see good art being made for the web. Wow indeed.

Comment by Katerina Nikoltsou (MomKat) on September 3, 2009 at 11:24am

Beautiful stamps! Patrizia you have captured the essence of the sculpture: solid and elegant. Wow!

Me working on moo art today (along with moooon art):
....now
back to cow :)
(or bulls?)
...
Yves, are they really goiong to put chips in the cows of India?
Indian Cows????

Comment by yves maraux on September 2, 2009 at 10:39am

SMART-Citie
A Dehli à l'exemple de l'enfer que sont les mégapoles asiatiques,pour faire face à l'augmentation du traffic les lieux publiques de vie sont tous peu à peu conquis par le monde de la bagnole ,avec une redistribution drastique de l'espace marchand. La décision concernant l'attribution à une firme privée du contrat relatif au controle du troupeau urbain par un identifiant numerique ne fait pas l'unanimité.Décision unilatérale prise par le conseil municipal sans consultation du comité des laitiers. L'installation du circuit dans l'estomac de milliers de buffalos et bufflettes vivant dans les rues revient à 900 roupies... onéreux meme si les experts de la société qui gère la ferme modele de Ghogha ou les animaux sont regroupés font croire que le lait sera pasteurisé par la puce. .
pour le mouvement des réalignés
au caveau des physiocrates
l'économiste Gogol II

In Dehli like the hell that are the Asian megalopolises, to face the increase of the trafficjam, places public of life are all little by little conquered by the world of the car, with a drastic redistribution of the trade space. The decision concerning the attribution to a private company of the contract concerning the controle of the urban herd by a numerique identifier does not make the unanimity. One-sided decision taken by the City Council without consultation of the committee of the milkmen. The installation of the circuit in the stomach of thousand Buffalo and bufflettes living in streets cost 900 rupees expensive even if the experts of the company which manages the modele farm of Ghogha where animals are grouped together persuade that the milk will be pasteurized by the chip.

Comment by Rod Summers / VEC on September 2, 2009 at 10:15am

NICE! Thanks Katerina

Comment by yves maraux on September 2, 2009 at 9:13am

some art history as dairy product

The Museum of Temporary Art - toward art cheese research center by ...

Comment by Katerina Nikoltsou (MomKat) on September 2, 2009 at 12:08am

Archaic smiling goddess Athena...once in the pediment of the
Temple of Aphaia on the Greek Island of Aegina...sigh.
(I soooo like the Archaic sculptures)
I have climbed the hills to reach that temple,
high above the deep blue Aegean Sea...tis breathtaking.
Thanks for letting me return to the place this evening "in spirit".
(See? Katerina can get mushing and serious...)

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