My Barfa Stewart Tacky Gift from Rebecca Guyver (Suffolk, UK)

[De Villo Sloan]

Mail-art by Rebecca Guyver depicting Queen of Trash Diane Keys (Suffolk, UK)

February 13, 2015 - The very late posting of this wonderful mail-art gift from Rebecca Guyver is the result of me having for some time sought not to acknowledge or to actually attempt to conceal my, what has proven to be, disastrous involvement in last holiday season’s Barfa Stewart Tacky Gift Exchange, which was organized on Facebook and attracted a veritable Who’s Who of trashpoets and high-profile mail artists.

Due to circumstances beyond my feeble attempt at “damage control,” I am now offering a degree of “transparency” concerning my involvement in the Barfa Stewart Tacky Gift Exchange. I wish to publicly thank Rebecca Guyver, as she seems to have had the great misfortune of drawing my name by chance and has thus been sucked into the whirlwind of controversy and derision now associated with my innocent attempt to exchange gifts and accusations that I sought to profit from receiving gifts without reciprocating, running a “scam,” as they say. (Make no mistake, dear friends, I limped away scathed and pummeled from an event that brought joy to so many others.)

Certainly, Rebecca is in no way involved with comments I am alleged to have made: that the organizer of the Barfa Stewart Tacky Gift Exchange is a “IUOMA edit” and anyone who participated is “IUOMA edit.” I challenge anyone to prove I ever made these wretched comments; and I denounce those comments that, by the way, do not begin to match in vulgarity and rudeness the insults hurled upon me.

Furthermore, I will not dignify with any narrative or explanation the sordid public lynching I received on Facebook at the hands of expert and experienced assassins such as KDJ Jay and her band of hoodlum “friends.” I still weep at the loss of an old and dear friend as the result of a misunderstanding concerning my attempt to find a suitable gift. The damage would likely not be so great if a chorus of cackling jackals had not fueled the flames into a kind of napalm bombing. Suffice to say, “Today I went out to look for a gift for Lisa,” is a line now etched in the memories of likely hundreds of individuals.

Having addressed the context, I now rise from the dusty trail where I fell, brush myself off, climb back upon my horse and share my Barfa Stewart Tacky Gift from Rebecca Guyver. Inside the very large envelope, was a huge DKult stocking:

The boot was too large to scan, so I hope you get the idea. Here is the reverse side:

Sheet music was stuffed inside the DKult boot:

This one (above) has a FAB mink ranch theme.

The DK snowman (an actual pic of Diane Keys) is one of my faves, so I present a second attempt at documentation:

Rebecca Guyver’s custom is always to include a detailed note, and the Barfa Stewart exchange was no exception:

Rebecca also included an amazing DKulter stamp:

And the gigantic envelope:

And the reverse:

Deepest thanks to Rebecca Guyver for helping me to salvage some good from an otherwise horrific experience.

[De Villo Sloan]

KDJ destroyed my car battery through telepathy. That's why I couldn't get Lisa's gift.

[DKeys]

Thanks for coming peacefully DVS. You will soon feel nothing but peace, love, and good vibes. Meeah was never a threat to you. I know this must seem like an affront to you now in your present state of mind, but you will soon remember nothing

[De Villo Sloan]

Checking myself into THE CLINIC voluntarily after disappearing ink messages from Marla the Martian.

DKULTNY will not fall.

[DKeys]

DVS--open the door. It appears you have barricaded yourself in. We have heard your demands for a mic stand and soap box. We are prepared to meet these demands if you unlock the door. DVS -we know you can hear us. We saw you peek out the window with your shroud shred. We can work this out. DVS--we are sliding your Dkult meds and cookies under the door. Please take them

[De Villo Sloan]

Rebecca, at least I allow you to post a comment and express your criticism.

Kulters & trashpoets seem to have no concern that DKULTNY - one of the oldest & largest DKult chapters - is being dismantled & looted & replaced by a completely fake entity like DKULTBRO all because DK & KDJ can't deal with occasional, constructive criticism.Well, your chapter could be next.

I have not yet ventured onto FB where I imagine the growing pack of wild dogs is now in a frenzy of dismemberment.

The Barfa Stewart Tacky Gift Exchange has been a disaster from my perspective.

[Rebecca Guyver]

Oh I love being near the centre of controversy! DVS I think you have squirmed enough, but I have to say those are crappy scans. Don't you have a camera?  Or better yet, get that DKulter with the cookies to take one, it's bound to be better!

[DKeys]

We have carefully considered your post and would like you to know we care deeply about your perceptions. Please just stay where you are and a DKulter will be there shortly to take you out for  milk and cookies.

[De Villo Sloan]

I'm a patsy. I know exactly what is going on here.

This is part of an effort on the part of Kulters who don't question anything out of Elgin to silence DKULTNY and me because I am the chapter president. DKULTNY is the only chapter that questions decisions made in Elgin. Clearly, this will no longer be tolerated. DKULTBROOKLYN - I see now - is a divide and conquer strategy. You have managed to make me look like a complete lunatic luring me into the Barfa Stewart Tacky Gift Exchange. Why am I not allowed to post comments in that FB group? Afraid of the truth?

I have been granted a year to get Lisa a gift. I have applied for an extension. In the meantime, fake apology letters and rude gifts are being circulated, supposedly sent and written by me.

I now wouldn't put it past Rebecca (and DKULTUK) to be involved in this.

Richard, thanks for the comment. (he is not involved in this)

[DKeys]

This blog post is a perfect display of cognitive distortion. The Barfa Exchange Participants bent over backwards to give you the support and encouragement you needed to sent a gift to Lisa. We offered to send postage, we gave gift suggestions, we howled howls of motivational hyiena howls, yet you still call us jackals? what you are excluding is the fact that you actually DID eventually send her a gift. You sent it to the DKult mansion mail room so that WE would have to pay postage, but at that point we didn't even mind. Lisa threatened to bring Dkult down by spilling certain KultSekrets if she didn't get her gift. YOU are not the victim here, you have brought more unneeded controversy to DKult. This is what the locals are now posting and graffitti-ing everywhere "Dkult must be stopped! They are brainwashers, cheap tippers, and Indian Givers!"  they claim they sent in their order for genuine Dkult Sea Monkeys advertised in DKollectibles and never received anything. Now I hear that you asked Lisa to send everything back......  DVS-I just now figured it out. You need to throw out that batch of Dkult pills. you have an older formula which had paranoia as a side effect. please contact Lucky Pierre asap!!!!

[Richard Canard]

13.02.15 Dare Mister DeVillo S. & Ms. Rebecca G.,  ... As I recall, the term "tacky" was in use when I was in high school--( well over 50 years ago now )....but there is something appealing, reassuring  & comforting nonetheless to realize that it has been elevated to a high art form within the DKULT clan. Always a delight to witness discriminating trash. Richard Canard