Katerina Nikoltsou (MomKat)'s Comments

Katerina: I have just now spotted your other, shorter comment. Sorry to reply to it so late.

The truth bout new groups is, one has to get one's footing before really jumping in. We are barely beginning. It may not continue. A friend's personal crisis hit fever pitch the last 24 hrs. We are all still not ready to get going.

Our first day, it was decided to try asking older members how things work here. Nobody covered those bases for us.Not one. It is very confusing. I like to know the parameters before proceeding. 

Of course, your reasonable request will be followed through on. I've been so busy fielding comments all evening, i haven't had time for much else.

What I had wanted  was to find out enough to be able to know what is expected. This is but the 1st week, and we are still  learning. I myself ran across a blog post here just a few days back written by a woman who was very upset about  someone's behavior here. She quit. This has stuck in our thinking. 

It is easy for members of long standing to know the characters of their fellow mail artists. not everyone is all good or completely honorable in any setting, online or off. Our friend's a single gal, whose life seemed to have come unglued just recently. But even if things were calm, i doubt her mind would have been easy over having such a sudden mailing hit her box. No greeting, not a word. No "are you ready?" No "welcome aboard." just "shop here." Off-putting for some. had he even been by to comment once, I bet we'd have been friends already, and our discomfiture at first contact would have been minimized.

Not that Brent was at fault entirely. I was responsible for letting it get out of hand. I guess I flew off the handle in a fit of nerves and may pay for it for a while. That still cannot make me (or anybody in our studio) comfortable at the thought of being pushed into trading if not ready. Does this resonate with you?

Rose

Our continued discussion does get at the root of this situation. As I was saying, in other comments earlier, this person WAS on board when things went up here, but then CHANGED HER MIND last minute--overnight, in fact. an important point. We are a responsible group of friends that all care for one another. And we try to do business honorably. What this person is enduring is personal, but I have her permission to mention she has had to resign over serious issues, among them, 2 family members with failing health. 

If there's nothing mentioned, no one gets it. Katerina, with all due respect, nobody's described IUOMA the way they finally did today before our situation became more than a little stressful. Those of us here do consider actual mail received or sent as being far more personal than anything they receive online, including the PMs we both are citing. You mentioned Facebook before. We do not care for the lax security that Facebook keeps for its members. We happen to know plenty of others who gave it up.

This is not a simple issue. It is arguably our fault for overreacting or closing ranks around our worried friend before due consideration. As said before in my most recent comment to Brent.

More than 1 factor lulls the newer member into thinking they might have a little control over how much/how often to trade. Some may say it is a blissful experience, being able to trade at will or send to whomever one wishes. It's even suggested Brent had it in mind to welcome me/the studio here. He includes nothing personal, no note saying he's glad we're aboard, just a plug for another website. And this was our very first piece of mail from any IUOMA member. That made us feel literally pushed into putting effort into unexpectedly creating something for someone new to us, when we're hardly ready for more than we'd already been offered thru welcoming comments/PMs/friendships offered.

More grist for our mill.....

Thank you for your thoughts on our difficulties today. I have already added more grist to the mill over at both Ruud's and Jen Stagg's this evening. It is a little difficult to explain, involving group dynamics on a very personal level. We had intended to secure our friend's peace of mind today, never having before received any indication of just how openly the people here trade mail--including Brent.

To clear up any confusion:

One of us was not even in our group anymore. They resigned the night of the first day of contact here. This person's address had been the first one available here. They were in charge of any inter-studio correspondence till that point. That address got taken down the very next morning. Much to this person's relief. Familial health issues may keep her out of circulation for quite some while. Brent may have meant no harm. In fact, some of us are sure he never would harm anybody. She, however, is really feeling the pinch in life and will have to calm down enough to apologize here openly to Brent and all concerned for stirring things up by worrying too much.

My own feelings on the subject you'll find elsewhere. In a nut shell, to be openly sent to would be preferable. I had taken the tone here to be a little more friendly, not so abstracted. Meaning, correspondents exchanging their preferences. Today, my friends and I are seeing it as more of a free-for-all. Not a bad thing in and of itself--if one's expecting it to be played like that. Why else have the Friends system set up to help us?

*****After all, one may not PM another here before being accepted as that person's friend. Isn't that right? Logic says this would be the case with actual mail as well. Isn't actual mail far more personal than PMs are?*****

Food for thought, we hope.

Here's to an early resolution to every difficulty, with any confusion cleared away and all signs favorable. 

Sincerely,

R McG

χαρούμενα γενέθλια    HaPpY BiRtHdAy Katerina! 

Happy birthday Katerina!!

...hope you are feeling better and ready to celebrate!!

Have a great day!

cheers

Thank you for the lovely postcard and stamps. That do take of? Coposition for friends?f

Hi Katerina,  We were lucky.  I had stocked up on food and we never lost our power.  But it was VERY hard to navigate town when we could get out by Friday.  I had a doctors appt.  Parking lots are treacherous!  I was a teen in the 1967 snow too and that was fun.  Not so when your disabled and in your 50's.  My heart went on to those people stuck on Lake Shore Dr.  Thank you for your thoughts, as always. Thanks again for letting me keep H.

You Spoil Me!  Karen

hi Katerina

hope this finds you getting better. thank you very much for he love-ly card from the boutique...fantastic reds! something is in the mail for you.

a tea made with fresh bits of ginger root does wonders to me, with some honey it is very pleasant and if you can manage to eat the bits it is even better...(as an opera singer told me years ago)...then we can hear you singing all the way here...

my best wishes to you,

cheers