My Barfa Stewart Tacky Gift from Rebecca Guyver (Suffolk, UK)

[De Villo Sloan]

Mail-art by Rebecca Guyver depicting Queen of Trash Diane Keys (Suffolk, UK)

February 13, 2015 - The very late posting of this wonderful mail-art gift from Rebecca Guyver is the result of me having for some time sought not to acknowledge or to actually attempt to conceal my, what has proven to be, disastrous involvement in last holiday season’s Barfa Stewart Tacky Gift Exchange, which was organized on Facebook and attracted a veritable Who’s Who of trashpoets and high-profile mail artists.

Due to circumstances beyond my feeble attempt at “damage control,” I am now offering a degree of “transparency” concerning my involvement in the Barfa Stewart Tacky Gift Exchange. I wish to publicly thank Rebecca Guyver, as she seems to have had the great misfortune of drawing my name by chance and has thus been sucked into the whirlwind of controversy and derision now associated with my innocent attempt to exchange gifts and accusations that I sought to profit from receiving gifts without reciprocating, running a “scam,” as they say. (Make no mistake, dear friends, I limped away scathed and pummeled from an event that brought joy to so many others.)

Certainly, Rebecca is in no way involved with comments I am alleged to have made: that the organizer of the Barfa Stewart Tacky Gift Exchange is a “IUOMA edit” and anyone who participated is “IUOMA edit.” I challenge anyone to prove I ever made these wretched comments; and I denounce those comments that, by the way, do not begin to match in vulgarity and rudeness the insults hurled upon me.

Furthermore, I will not dignify with any narrative or explanation the sordid public lynching I received on Facebook at the hands of expert and experienced assassins such as KDJ Jay and her band of hoodlum “friends.” I still weep at the loss of an old and dear friend as the result of a misunderstanding concerning my attempt to find a suitable gift. The damage would likely not be so great if a chorus of cackling jackals had not fueled the flames into a kind of napalm bombing. Suffice to say, “Today I went out to look for a gift for Lisa,” is a line now etched in the memories of likely hundreds of individuals.

Having addressed the context, I now rise from the dusty trail where I fell, brush myself off, climb back upon my horse and share my Barfa Stewart Tacky Gift from Rebecca Guyver. Inside the very large envelope, was a huge DKult stocking:

The boot was too large to scan, so I hope you get the idea. Here is the reverse side:

Sheet music was stuffed inside the DKult boot:

This one (above) has a FAB mink ranch theme.

The DK snowman (an actual pic of Diane Keys) is one of my faves, so I present a second attempt at documentation:

Rebecca Guyver’s custom is always to include a detailed note, and the Barfa Stewart exchange was no exception:

Rebecca also included an amazing DKulter stamp:

And the gigantic envelope:

And the reverse:

Deepest thanks to Rebecca Guyver for helping me to salvage some good from an otherwise horrific experience.

[De Villo Sloan]

I know none of the members of DKULTUK are engaged in these cowardly acts aimed at diminishing DKULTNY.

What then of the poncho of invisibility? You must certainly be asking. I shall wear it proudly upon the Freedom Floatilla barge.

This was the original Barfa Stewart gift unceremoniously returned to me - without explanation - by Lisa Lisa Kult jam.

How could I then be expected to find her an acceptable gift, given that baggage?

Right from the start the whole thing was a set up.

[Mail Art Martha]

Beautiful barfa work, although the stamp is more of a carved extremely unbarfa high quality miniature. I have noted before the handmade stamps by Rebbeca with lots of admiration and not too litle envy. The  tree, well, words fail me, quite an unusual phenomenon.

[Neil Gordon]

This makes Phillip K. Dick seem like the hardy boys!!!

[De Villo Sloan]

[DKeys]

u wont be needing a poncho--you will be picked up at the Border by Poncho

[De Villo Sloan]

Oh yes & Lisa Lisa Cult Jam once returned a gift I sent her, a see-through plastic rain poncho, so this was going to be very tense.

[De Villo Sloan]

Balto of the 9th Green Chakra? D-Kanines.

That's going North by the looks. The CLINIC is in Mexico.

[DKeys]

LP-we teleported you back to noon PACIFIC time accidentally, so you just need to wait awhile for time to catch up. But now you know he will surrender on his own so put away the dart gun

[Lucky Pierre]

Solar flares, sorry.

Balto (old friend of Snooky's) and I are on the way.

 

[DKeys]

But you also thought Lisa Lisa was a special agent with the same powers. And you DID get her a gift-you just don't remember it. We found you on your way home from delivering it, wandering in your boxers eating tacos from Suracha Chucaracha