Diane Keys and the Miraculous Paper Plate

[David Stafford]

I've spent a lot of time running down our Postal System for a variety of reasons. Now I must take it all it back because of a remarkable thing that arrived last week. Diane Keys of Elgin, Illinois (home of the infamous Elgin Marbles) (hey, when I make a bad joke, I flog that sucka till I can hear the spleens ringing) Anyway, I arrive home from a hard day at the orifice and what did I find?

 

Yes folks a paper plate with an entire helping of Czech Potato Salad from Minsky's Deli in Elgin, IL. Don't believe me?

Well, just look at what's underneath the salad.

See, I told you....the salad was excellent by the way. I knew you wanted to know. On the back side...we have....

 

A circular message but not tautologically speaking...

 

Okay, so Mr. Postman and all minions who I have slighted over the years I must now beg forgiveness on bended knee. Key to the whole enterprise of my change of heart is Diane Keys, the Pride of Elgin who, by the way, sent this as well to let me know that potato salad is not all she's famous for.

thank you, Diane. Some day I hope to see those marbles of yours.

 

 

[1cgqtuoblpeqc]

as i was saying.

[DKeys]

DVS sent me a spitpo piece. It was gatoriffic (made from Gatorade) 

[1cgqtuoblpeqc]

spitpo anyone?

[De Villo Sloan]

don't tell me your plate is full! tough beans! i'm calling my cole s-law-yer

[DKeys]

The complate department is overloaded at the moment. workers being complatecent

[De Villo Sloan]

your looking for a plate-form to advance your agenda. i say table it!

[DKeys]

DW and Elvis have complately left the building

[DKeys]

your position is rock solid

[De Villo Sloan]

i have had a chance to contem-plate

[DKeys]

You know you are marbleing at my plate mail