I just arrived home from a joint session with my Psychoanalyst and Sexual Therapist trying, and failing, to explain what it is about somebody who has a desire to show me her breasts, and the devastating effect her obsession has had on my personality, when the PostLady knocked at the door and gave me a little parcel.
I opened it and found these ....BREASTS!
I thought long and hard about what to do with them, and phoned my Sexual Therapist who advised me to take several deep breaths, a cold shower, a few more deep breaths (although she did tell me not to breathe too deeply in case I became too excited) and see if there was any clue in the package as to what this was all about.
So I looked in the package, and found.....MORE BREASTS! LOTS MORE BREASTS!
Now I bet you are wondering who is sharing their Breast Fantasies with me (and my Sexual Therapist and Pyschoanalyst) BUT I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU.
YOU HAVE TO GUESS.
Two clues: i) they have come from the US, and ii) they were sent by someone of the fair sex.
How can I properly say a polite thankyou to her without revealing her name? The best I can do is to revert to my working class North East of England origins, and say "Tha's got a smashing pair of knockers, luv. Ta for letting me see them."
And then I went downstairs for yet another cold shower humming a few lines from the Coasters' "Poison Ivy":
"She comes on like a Rolls/ but everybody knows/She'll get you in Dutch/
Now you can look but you better not touch"
So Guess ...but don't touch
This comment/blog is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, and/or their anatomies is purely coincidental.