BANANAS

A Very Sad Banana Short Story by Val

We seem to be missing something here, don't we. That's ok; we'll use our imaginations, just like Val wants us to.

What have they done to my song, ma?

A VERY SAD BANANA SHORT STORY BY VAL (take 2)

When you are the very lucky recipient of a Dean Special Banana Hanger you take on many responsibilities, one of which is to make sure that there is always a bunch of Bananas hanging from it.

I buy my bunches of Bananas at the local fruit'n'veg market on Tuesday and Friday mornings, and put them on my Banana Hanger.

This morning there were no bunches of Bananas available at the market.

There were only loose Bananas.

I bought some loose Bananas, and have put them around the base of my Dean Special Banana Hanger.

The Hanger looks sad.

So do the Bananas.

So do I.

THE END

Bananas are like women, the looser they are the riper they get.  Did I just say that?  Bad Dean , Bad Dean,   Very sorry, but at least it cheered Val up.

That would cheer Val up. He's probably on someone's patio toasting to it right now.

Hey Bad Dean (down boy, down!) what wine do you drink when you eat bananas, and do you agree that a good wine is like a good woman -- the older, the more mature and full-bodied?

I'm cheered up, for sure, but dreading the torrage of Dean and Val Are Sexist Banana Blokes that is bound to rain down on us now.

Dean drinks LOTS of these wines...

and Champagne?

You guys really make me wish I live in Europe.

Hey Nancy...that holiday we're going to take could always be in France. Just pick your region...Burgundy, Bordeaux, Champagne, Sigean...

val

Banana wine. Ooooo--not sound goooood.

Val, is there a Shiraz region? Ha. (If not, I'll take a chance on Sigean, and by the way, I'm sending you more envelopes soonest.)

Erni: there's a great bar just outside of Liege/Luik that sells over 1000 beers, including many fruit falavoured ones, including Banana Beer.

Nancy: I don't think that there's a Shiraz region (if there isn't Dean will probably invent one, and locate a Banana Plantation therein), so it would be better if you came directly to Sigean. See ya!

Eh, BANANAS here! Banana Beer? 

Well here is something from the Yahoo Health News:

"You can do a lot more with a banana than slice it on your cereal. Among the fruit's other uses: slap a banana peel (the inside part) on an itch caused by a bug bite or poison ivy; this will dial down the inflammation and relieve the itch. You can also use mashed banana as a facial--it’s great for moisturizing dry skin. Banana peel also has anti-acne properties: just rub the inside part of the peel over your clean face to get the anti-inflammatory and anti-microbial effects. "

Yes, many of the banana diets are with medical and university research programs, Erni. Very healthy!

I also have used bananas  (peel) for my skin:

to shine my shoes:

paint a few postcards:

and to go sailing (in a banana boat, of course :-)

I have also heard that bananas are very healthy, but in this hotel in Austria where I find mysef there is plenty of asparagus and apples galore but no bananas. We are reduced to go to the local supermarket to buy our own.

Dear Martha,

I'm not sure if you knew, but in Austria bananas are not allowed in hotels.  Austrian bananas are known to snore and will wake up the rest of the bunch.   Try travelling north until you come to Germany.

Hope your trip is going well.

Foiled again!  The 3D banana from Louise Kiner arrives in Paris.  It's one of the wonders of Canada.

Thank you Louise, and no I shall not be opening this one. 

Also thank you for the Zombie booklet.  Very funny indeed.   I love the way it folds.  Do you have the link to show us how to fold paper so it turns into a booklet?

   Someday, maybe not today, you will have to explain to me what all this Zombie fuss is about.  Is this some kind of craze in North America?  I mean, you seem like such a sensible lady.

Yes. Who knows what you will find if you open it...I am glad it arrived intact. I had thought about sending as is, but our postal/customs people are a bit jumpy to say the least...

I will find a link about the book folding. I just kind of figured it out by unfolding one I had and went from there, but I am sure there is a method to it.

I'm glad someone on this planet thinks I'm sensible... ;^)

Louise, if I were you I would be a bit worried if Dean thought that you were sensible, because...well, you know Dean!

It's a great Banana Piece!

Val

Yes Louise, and send Val a pair.

Send Val a pair? Or a pear? Or, even better, a banana? Thank you. Val

Had a pear...or a pair...of bananas today iin my mail box :-)

Here is a rare "BANANA FISH" from Nadine in the USA:

And a card from Rwanda is made with banana leaves...well, this was a replica, but for a good cause :Women and their families:

Funny enough I received a pair of (real 3D) bananas in the post today from
Erni.  You have to see to believe.  Watch this space.

I can't find the Bananas that Erni sent me.  I'm afraid that they got mixed up with the real ones and somebody ate them.

Banana Slice of life from Alicia Starr.  Alicia painted a banana on a 1981 Barbara Kruger photograph entitled "Untitled"

Thank you very much.  I think Barbara (67 years old now) would be proud of you Alicia.  Besides, she couldn't even title her snap shot.

Amazing from Erni.  Not one but two separate wooden Bananas which arrived on the same day.  Both sent with stamps attached and not in an envelope.  You did it Erni, the post and run worked in Germany. I’m happy about this theory working around the world.  Thank you Enri.  Here they are is several positions.

Spoons

Heart shaped.

I'm not sure what this one might be called.

I am keeping these as decoraations in the plants.  Well at least until my wife notices them.

those wooden bananas are classics! Dean, maybe your wife will be fooled in thinking your flower pots are bearing fruit!

Alicia, sadly the stamps might give them away.  Thanks for your reply, but I expected you help us out with the third photo.

the third pic has me stumped Dean. still life?

Yes, even us Bananas have still life.  But I guess Erni wins once again.

Hey! Guess whom I met in London?

and those are authentic Colombian Chiquita bananas.

Hey Erni, that's not Dean the Cyclist. It's the Duke of Wessex (in disguise) just before he gets on the Royal Barge for the Queen's special boat ride upon the River thames for her Diamond Jubilee.

The next photo we will probably get from London will probably be of Martha, the Duchess of Essex.

Regards, Val

Val, your new profile photo is shocking. I had no idea you are the queen of France. Don't let anyone take that crown away from you, it really makes a statement.

"Discuss with reference to current sociological, anthropological, social, economic, political, metaphysical, and scientific trends, and within a structural-fuctional, maoist, reductionist, deconstructionivist framework, drawing on references from other civilisations, galaxies, cultural and historicist theories, and illustrating your answer with statistical, empirical, metaphysical and astronomical evidence WHY Queen Elizabeth 11 will be remembered long after the Sex pistols?"

(Your answer should be no less than 150,000 and no more than 250, 000 words)

Of course you're forgiven, Erni. It's a crazy craze in the UK right now.Val

Dean meets the Queen

Later Dean and Liz caught enjoying a banana moment.

Hey! Isn't that the Canadian Prime Minister behind Dean? I think our Prime Minister would look good in a "Banana Hat"....

Some patriotic Brit should, at this stage, jump to the defence of Prince Charles.

It won't be me.

(Martha and Erni's Banana Jubilee photos are fantastic!)

Val

Erni, mon ami, I'm tempted, really tempted, to change my Queen Liz photo for one of Charly...but then my cats would never talk to me again. Perhaps someone else (YOU??) could be Prince Charles for a few days? Go on, try it, and see what happens. It would get the Fan Club all excited (again).

Val

He should have used his wits. :--DDD

Oh, dear! What a to do! Just because you haven't got a Queen, Ernie, there is no need to feel left out. You can always invent one. As to eating bananas in public, haven't you noticed Her Majesty is only holding a banana, which happens to be a ceremonial one, I'm told.

But what a revelation; Charlie is bald. And he combs his hair over his pate. Or gets it combed more likely. I heard that his valet puts the toothpast on his toothbrush... I would like that, it is such a tiring job, every morning and night to have to squeeze the tube... it is getting too much for me.

Very funny Angie!

MAIL ART FLYER FROM LAST CENTURY

A POLAROID OF MY FIRST BANANAFISH SCULPTURE (1976)

and to think, i almost missed these posts. god save the queen, not.

A word from Dean as he still is bicycling from London to Paris ...(how can he bike across the Channel? Maybe he is using a banana boat?) Well, he sent banana wishes:

THIS IS A PHOTO OF MY FREUD IN A BANANA TREE PLATE WHICH I MADE IN 1976. IT WAS SORT OF AN ANTI-COMMEMORATIVE PLATE STATEMENT AND A VERY BAD ART IDEA-BUT, AS YOU SEE: IT HAS A BANANA REFERENCE. I GAVE IT TO MY SISTER...