Pocket shred of 'Shroud of Elgin' from De Villo Sloan, with Certificate of Authenticity

[Nancy Bell Scott]

It's a dream come true, and DVS made it happen! When he announced he was taking orders from trashpo aficionados for DK shroud shreds, I jumped at the chance and requested a pocket (as I believe pockets are underrated). Within a day or two, after no doubt a lot of hard work, DVS wrote back that not only had he located a pocket shred but he had already sent it off to me, with a Certificate of Authenticity:

Although a very satisfied owner of trashpo art from Diane already, I was beyond excited by the opportunity to obtain an official D-Kollectible from DKultNY, and as I understand it one of the first pieces of the Shroud of Elgin. The testimonials in DVS's certificate have already convinced me that my DK pocket shred will take me to paradise in short order, from where I too will want to add to the testimonials and help the Shroud of Elgin to reach its full potential. Orders are being taken, people, now don't miss out.

It is most special to me that DVS took his valuable time to write a rare personal note. In fact, these items arrived in the very first envelope ever to arrive in Maine from DVS, and that alone would be a thrill and adds immeasurably to the miraculous obtaining of the Shroud of Elgin pocket shred. DVS also threw in a few shreds of his own asemic art, which I prize just as much as my D-Kollectible! To document the facts in this paragraph, shown below are the envelope itself, with said shreds: Thanks so much, DVS, you're the best: you've made DKultMAINE happy and raised our trashpo prestige higher than one ever would have thought possible!

[De Villo Sloan]

KDJ!

 

Join me now!

 

PLACE YOUR PALM ON THE SCREEN OVER THE ELGIN SHROUD

 

Sing to the Angels with me now   KDJ

 

NO MORE EARTHLY THINGS NOW TO WORRY US

 

PLACE YOUR HAND ON THE SCREEN AND SING AMAZING GRACE WITH US

[De Villo Sloan]

For people who don't have an Elgin Shroud shred but want to benefit from its miraculous powers:

 

PLACE THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN!

 

JOIN ME NOW AND PLACE THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN!

PLACE THE PALM OF YOUR HAND ON THE ELGIN SHROUD SHRED ON YOUR SCREEN!

FEEL THE MIRACLE POWER OF THE ELGIN SHROUD PASS THROUGH THE SCREEN INTO YOU

Amen! Amen! Hare Hare Krishna! Born again! 

[De Villo Sloan]

Yes! The ES belongs in Las Vegas. It's especially lucky should you play Twister. DK was a star gymnast in school, I think she said.

[prettylily]

Well then that explains everything!  I just hope to get a small piece before my next trip to Vegas.  Thought I would test these powers for myself.  I think I am missing some time myself.

[De Villo Sloan]

Sue, I transferred you to KDJ.The Florida office is pulling us down. Can we get someone else in there? Or send  KDJ to Re-eD-Kamp or something? I ordered a ring and got a broken watch.

[prettylily]

Great blog, Nancy.  I was just low on DKoolAid today.  Must place an new order soon.  DVS transfered me somewhere and I fell asleep listening to the elevator music.

[De Villo Sloan]

I can personally testify to the powers of the Elgin Shroud. DKult fans I'm sure are aware of my source for D-Kollectibles, but at this point I cannot disclose it. The shroud shreds are small so the maximum number of people can benefit. Orders have been going out all week,

[DKeys]

Wow. I hardly know what to say. First I'm at a fetish web site and next my shrouded shreds are being auctioned off like George Foreman grills? The miraculous healing powers are all true, because these clothes saved me from a speeding meteor while hitchiking through the dessert. Missing time and scorpions were invovled too. I like the shreds of DVS too, which leads me to believe he experienced a similar shredding incident (although I think he's blocked it out). I don't blame DVS for trying to profit off of my miraculous near death experience, with the amputation and all. I don't blame him, but I'm still shocked, horrified, and completely in awe of his entrepreneurial spirit (spell chick turns spell beyotch). I this DVS deserves a promotion to CFO of DKult--where we don't just promise miracles, we fabricate them.

[Nancy Bell Scott]

Sue, I know what you mean, but really, is this the time or place? It's a sacred shroud! Get a grip!

[De Villo Sloan]

"I'm on a mission from God."