Pocket shred of 'Shroud of Elgin' from De Villo Sloan, with Certificate of Authenticity

[Nancy Bell Scott]

It's a dream come true, and DVS made it happen! When he announced he was taking orders from trashpo aficionados for DK shroud shreds, I jumped at the chance and requested a pocket (as I believe pockets are underrated). Within a day or two, after no doubt a lot of hard work, DVS wrote back that not only had he located a pocket shred but he had already sent it off to me, with a Certificate of Authenticity:

Although a very satisfied owner of trashpo art from Diane already, I was beyond excited by the opportunity to obtain an official D-Kollectible from DKultNY, and as I understand it one of the first pieces of the Shroud of Elgin. The testimonials in DVS's certificate have already convinced me that my DK pocket shred will take me to paradise in short order, from where I too will want to add to the testimonials and help the Shroud of Elgin to reach its full potential. Orders are being taken, people, now don't miss out.

It is most special to me that DVS took his valuable time to write a rare personal note. In fact, these items arrived in the very first envelope ever to arrive in Maine from DVS, and that alone would be a thrill and adds immeasurably to the miraculous obtaining of the Shroud of Elgin pocket shred. DVS also threw in a few shreds of his own asemic art, which I prize just as much as my D-Kollectible! To document the facts in this paragraph, shown below are the envelope itself, with said shreds: Thanks so much, DVS, you're the best: you've made DKultMAINE happy and raised our trashpo prestige higher than one ever would have thought possible!

[Nancy Bell Scott]

KDJ = a riot

[De Villo Sloan]

KDJ, you are absolutely sparkling! The Elgin Shroud seems to have impacted you for the better. Its powers are miraculous. During the worst of Dw's head trauma, when he believed DK was his mother, putting a shroud shred in a hat he wore did wonders. He's at least 70% of his former self. And you have to remember he sustained other head trauma during the May riots at the Martha Stuart School of Asemic Wallpaper.

[De Villo Sloan]

Usually cult leaders disappear or become inaccessible after a point.

 

My big concern now is DK-ULTRA, a secret group inside the D-KULT plotting global domination of mail-art. We can neither verify nor deny that DK-ULTRA really exists.

[De Villo Sloan]

OK, that's one opinion. But regardless, D-Kollectibles will continue. It's free enterprise.

[Nancy Bell Scott]

She is ascential. There must be other ways around the snake oil clams.

[De Villo Sloan]

Look, I know this might be really unpopular. But after all these snake oil claims, I want to pose a question. Does the DKULT really need DK any more? 

[Nancy Bell Scott]

So long as the fantasy is family.

[De Villo Sloan]

[De Villo Sloan]

Legions of angry monkeys riding coydogs shall descend upon you.

[Nancy Bell Scott]

I once went with a snake in the grass. It didn't end well. DVS, you might want to separate yourself more vehemently and obviously from the snake references.