Only Once in a Quadringentesimus Does Something Like This Come Along...

A light fell upon him as he contemplated the great Shroud of Elgin...

At first the light burned a little...

Then he was filled with the spirit of Trashpo, and De Villo Sloan felt compelled to share with the masses the miraculous wonders of that tattered blue cloth--which sometimes glowed in the dark if you stared at it hard enough in the blackness of night.   And so, the great Shroud was torn assunder and sent to the far corners of the earth.  

As a result there now exist many denominations of the Church of DKult, with many altars and shrines that hold pieces of that blessed relic.  Devotees are no longer forced to spend their life savings to make the long pilgrimage to upstate New York to witness the mircles.  Now they can bask in the tattered remains of that humble article of clothing in their very own neighborhoods.

My altar piece arrived in a simple envelope--secured with duct tape--so I knew the envelope had to contain something of grave importance... Something Trashpo-rific...

I immediately made a place of honor for the holy relic:

To the left you might see a representation of the Egyptian god Osirus, torn to shreds by his brother Set and scattered around the world (not unlike the Shroud of Elgin).  To the right, you might see a bust of Diana, goddess of the hunt and the moon--keeper of veiled mysteries (also like the Shroud of Elgin).  One is represented in white; one is represented in black, just like the twin pillars Joachin and Boaz at the entrance of King Solomon's Temple--the gateway through which one had to pass in order to experience the mysteries within.

The shroud lies resplendant under the watchful eyes of the triple image of DK, who in turn is watched over by the syncretous god Antinous.  Antinous was the lover of the Roman emperor Hadrian, and was the only real-life human person to be honored with the rank of "god" by the Roman Empire after he drowned in the Nile... Antinous represents the miracle of, "meh, stranger things have happened..."

Accompanying this sacred objet were several documents touting its authenticity.  They had the appearance and timbre of a chain letter, but for the faithful trust I owe to the power of story-telling, the mention of several respected mail art acquaintances, and the fact that the letter was COLOR-copied, I took it at its word as being the REAL THING.

Additionally, several other documents were enclosed, in a kind of Trashpo FRENZY...

Holism (with contributions by both Dark Wall and Marie Wintzer):

Cerealism (Currealism?):

Certificationism; Grammatical Catyclism:

These things paired nicely with a previous work of Trashpo sent by De Villo--a rare and complex piece of Trashpo indeed:

I'd been told that there is no such thing as a 'free lynch,' but apparently financing is available, and flood insurance is guaranteed in case you are overwhelmed by your tears of joy.  The large array of chair options on the menu is ideal for recipients who are swept off their feet.  Composition within this piece is impressive, and painted elements provide a trompe l'oeil distressed effect apreciated by connoisseurs of l'arte Trash-poètique.

I am always most impressed when I learn something new, and De Villo didn't disappoint... he sent some new vocabulary for me to enjoy...

Thank you, De Villo!

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Comment by De Villo Sloan on April 25, 2012 at 2:48pm

Remove the agent's tracking device. There are more. Mail the tracking device to The Journal of Post-Dogmatism. Include this note: "I think this is your pain in the ass. You can have it back. Cancel my subscription."

Comment by DKULT on April 25, 2012 at 1:53pm

I'm hoping the spores have been contained. All DKult members have been put in quarantine.  DKult can not tolerate any saboteurs to our unity. The Dark Forces of Toxis seek to divide and conquer--together we are strong-apart we are weak and vulnerable to attack.

Very great story Nancy, I guess you weren't meant to be there for some reason. You might have ended up on video doing compromising things that you could never have lived down. And you would have gotten all muddy.

Comment by De Villo Sloan on April 25, 2012 at 4:14am

No quarter for reactionary kultural fascism!

Comment by De Villo Sloan on April 25, 2012 at 4:05am

I like the Woodstock story.

 

I'll be back soon (as soon as I cool down) & the Schwitterpo Uprising has been put down. I would have been a lone voice demanding (1) an expulsion & public denouncement (2) public trial & (3) banishment to the Gulag landfill. You have clearly been infiltrated by an agent of TOXIS in an effort to release a virulent virus. Luckily for you, the mechanism is clearly defective & thus only succeeds in being an annoying pain in the ass.

Comment by Nancy Bell Scott on April 25, 2012 at 2:59am

She also sang "Joe Hill," which is one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard (on record of course! darn it). 

Yah, Thom, a story that didn't happen. :--} So sad, really! My boyfriend and I had Woodstock tickets, stayed the night before in a grimy guesthouse in Rhinecliff NY after lying to my parents, and woke up to the radio saying the thruway was backed up and no one could get to Woodstock. We realized by the end of the weekend that we probably could have made it, but we were busy having a teenage argument. About what I have no idea. Perhaps it was about bra-burning, now that you remind me of it. I never could stand those things.

Drove through Woodstock VT 2 yrs ago. It's lovely but would have required a mortgage payment to have dinner there, so it was necessary to keep going. Thanks, though, for your grand ideas, Thom! I really would love to meet that farmer Max, but think he's been dead a number of years. Nostalgia for a missed event. What could that mean!     

Comment by DKULT on April 25, 2012 at 1:35am

now if that didn't work, Snooky needs to go back to the drawing board on that device

Comment by DKULT on April 25, 2012 at 1:34am

DVS--come back...come back....Dkult is nothing without you....you are nothing without Dkult.....come back

Comment by De Villo Sloan on April 25, 2012 at 1:23am

Joan Baez sang "Amazing Grace." And Thom's reciting scripture. The revival feel is great, yet somehow D-Kult makes me think more of snake handlers & speaking in tongues.

Comment by Thom Courcelle on April 23, 2012 at 11:29pm

THAT sounds like a story!!... Whatever did you do INSTEAD of going to Woodstock?  Sometimes it's never too late to live out your dreams...  I bet if you made a road trip, that farmer would let you walk on his property today with a Walkman or iPod while you listened to Joan Baez croon through your earphones.  You could always go to Woodstock, Vermont... that's not quite as far.  There's a town green in the center of town where you could probably burn a bra. Vermont's quite liberal--people might cheer!

Comment by Nancy Bell Scott on April 23, 2012 at 11:14pm

You sure know your cosmic stuff, Thom, name-dropping David and Solomon, the bible, tarot cards (the SMITH-WAITE!!!). (I don't know Smith-Waite.) But it's all interesting, even charming, and thank you for the picture of Joan Baez. If only I'd gone to Woodstock as planned. Your blogs are fantabulous, Thom.

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