IF YOU HAVE GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH $150 -- READ THIS NONSENSE

1. Start here, because 'I have always something important to tell you' [although 'I always have something important to tell you' sounds better to me]

We have always something important to tell you
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Art Vip Gallery

State of the Art - Artist's Book


Dear Artist 

Art Vip Gallery and Galeria Aberta, are calling for Artists to submit their work for selection in order to be included in the next book, "State of the Art - Artist's book".
In State of the Art - Artist's book the curators´s goal, is to present a wide range of contemporary best Artists and their artworks. Read More
Our mailing address is:
artvipgallery.com@gmail.com
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2. So you've looked it up, and found that they want $150 of your hard-earned artist's money. On discovering this, I sent  Art VIP Gallery, the following email:

"I have something Important to tell you, too.
You must be joking.
If YOU pay ME $150+ to be in your book, I will consider it.
If not, you can...get lost? (and that's being polite, very polite)"
Because I don't have $150.
3. Their reply?
"Dear Mr. Valentin (sic) Mark Herman
Thank you for your polite answer. We are prepared to pay 150€ or more to great artists to be in 'State of the Art - Artist's Book'. After analyzing carefully your portfolio (stamp art, postcard art, aboriginal art, etc) I'm sorry to inform you, that your artwork does not the required the art quality to be paid or even be published in the State of the Art. What you do for art fill in more like craft work stuff. Next year we are launching a craft work book and we will be pleased to have you.
Kind Regards
Tommy Dul"
4. I was devastated when I read this as Mr Dul (come on!)'s very badly written and totally ungrammatical letter seems to be saying that I am not a great artist ("We've known that for a long time, Val!") and my 'portfolio' -- I'd never thought of it as that -- which contains a lot of Mail Art, does not reach Mr Dul's quality standards.
5. To help me get over this major put-down of my artistic efforts, I cordially invite you to send me $149.99 -- you even get to save $0.01! -- thank you. (Or you can, of course, send $150 to Mr Dul). I will use the money to boost my spirits -- both artistic and alcohol -- and send you some Mail Art back in return.
THE END

Views: 257

Comment

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Comment by Valentine Mark Herman on July 12, 2013 at 2:27pm

Suus: thank you! That's the first serious offer I've had. Bon weekend, Val

Comment by Suus in Mokum on July 12, 2013 at 7:59am
I'll buy you a guinness in Maastricht. If the NS is in the mood to let the trains run, that is.
Comment by Cerulean on July 11, 2013 at 11:54pm

Val, thank you.  Glad you like it. I 'll send something by (air)mail.

Comment by Valentine Mark Herman on July 11, 2013 at 8:36pm

Val doesn't mind at all. He's glad that you're all having fun with this. That is what he set out to achieve.

There have been 159 views -- have you lot really got nothing better to do with your time? -- but Val still has received no money.

If every person viewing this had given Val a Euro, he would have had enough -- plus another €9 for his beer money -- money to pay for an entry in the book.

I think that you Mail Artists are a bunch of cheapskates, and will ask my Good Lady Wife, Lizzy, if she will send Val €150 from the public -- ie her's -- purse.

The Duke of Edinburgh

Comment by Katerina Nikoltsou (MomKat) on July 11, 2013 at 5:41pm

Art VIP! Ha! You send in the money...and you will never see a "book",

but they will see a great deal of money!

Very funny, my dear Valentine,

so glad to see the King and Queen here...

oh, and Prince Charles, too.

ERNINESS ROCKS! (2 new cards in the mail from Hamburg today:-)

Comment by Suus in Mokum on July 11, 2013 at 4:32pm
Erni, die blaue Mütse ist wansinnig toll
Comment by Suus in Mokum on July 11, 2013 at 4:24pm
Hahaha! What an eejit this Mr Dul.
Comment by Cerulean on July 11, 2013 at 3:41pm

Ah, a mistyping. Must be pretendent!

Your right about Val. It's his blog and it's a little off-topic. What do you think Val?

But where's the queen?

Comment by Cerulean on July 11, 2013 at 1:17pm

BREAKING NEWS;

Fake(?) thrown prentedent comes with his own stamp. Charles and Camilla try yo sell their stamp collection in Africa.

Comment by Cerulean on July 11, 2013 at 11:55am

Erni - You made my day!

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