David Cares

[DKeys]

[David Stafford]

That's so true. Even when I walk down the streets of Heidelberg the rustic natives treat me like I exude a special sauce. The secret: Bottles of salsa in my overcoat pockets. Plus....a specially devised Camel-Bak with four spray mounts. As a godhead I have to keep up with the technology like everyone else...

[DKeys]

David has been responsible for many a peaceful outcome. In 2011, he was transmitting a particularly strong wave of unconditional love and acceptance.  A lot of Germans still think he is a myth like Big Foot and Loch Ness.

[Carina]

From Berlin, 2011, can there be too much love...

[David Stafford]

Thank you, Neil. It's so great to have publicists working round the clock on these snappy slogans.  Stafford Loves You...for just pennies a day....

[DKeys]

Don't Hassle the Hoff!  and our spin off billboard (Neil Gordon's creation) Don't Staff  the Fiorde!

[David Stafford]

Yeah, that's what I hear. Svenja is setting up a front office for me in Heidelberg which I guess I'm supposed to share with Hasselhoff. She says he's okay but don't ask him about Pamela or he goes apeshit.

[DKeys]

we've had a trust-is what I meant to say. I felt a DS love wave and was unable to form proper sentences for a min

[DKeys]

David-we've has  trust set up for you for sometime. We have received numerous donations and managed the money for you so as not to stress you out. Most of the donations arre in foreign currency. You, like David Hasselhoff, are huge in Germany.

[David Stafford]

This also explains why I've been getting requests from Elgin residents suggesting a cash donation of $20, $50 or the really Big Dave Super Love with Sprinkles for $250....(some assembly required).

[DKeys]

this is in fact the nefarious work of the DKult street team Michael. We feel Elgin could benefit from the brand of love only David can transmit. We are already seeing a lowering of crime and an increase in random acts of kindness.