The Martha Stuart School of Asemic Wallpaper - Start Your Career Today! - Special Discount for Prisoners

[De Villo Sloan]

The Martha Stuart School of Asemic Wallpaper

Founder:

Martha Stuart

Administration:

Katerina Nikoltsou, Dean of Asemics

Diane Keys, Minister of Propaganda, Student Ambassador

Snooker the Amazing Mail-art Dog, Dean of Men

David Stafford, Dean of Women

De Villo Sloan

Current Students:

Sue Bowen

Dark wall

Diane Keys 

Katerina Nikoltsou

KDJ

My Life As A Collage

Austin Wills James

Applications still being accepted! Post your work in the MSSAWP discussion thread!

Don't put off today what you can do tomorrow!

Our state-of-the-art facilities put you an environment that will be very similar to your first big job after graduation

What are you waiting for? Let's roll!

"Why put off today what you can do tomorrow?"

- Martha Stuart (advice to John Lennon and Yoko Ono during the recording of Revolution #9)

Our faculty and staff are here to serve you!

[Bifidus Jones]

I'll take two rolls in a nightmare shade please

[De Villo Sloan]

Thanks for the order Bifidus. Now we need some students. I added this discussion because for some reason it made me think about Jackson Pollock. When his paintings were all the rage, he was approached by a wallpaper company that wanted to produce Jackson Pollock Wallpaper. He ultimately declined. But it certainly made me think. Why should it be limited to a gallery or museum? Or is the work completely debased when it's mass-produced? It would be easy to turn asemics into pure, repetitive design. Fake Jackson Pollock wallpaper:

 

[DKeys]

Hi Bidifus, does this fit your order? It's called "70's style trashpo puke" It has a flocked texture and is completely timeless.  Actually it is Time-full as it is my submission for the "Time" MA call.  All items were found on a specific date in time, but I thought it would make a terrific wallpaper ala Barfa Spewart.  Thanks DVS for this commercial venture.  Someone needs to pitch this idea to a major retailer

[Bifidus Jones]

gimme 4 rolls of this stuff (will trade for 2 bags of chaos)

[DKeys]

Bifidus, how to ask this delicately--do you qualify for the freedom impaired discount? literal or metaphorically?

[Bifidus Jones]

Diane, I'll be whatever you want me to be to get the biggest discount

[DKeys]

Okay cool.  I'll just bill DVS

[DKeys]

Truthfully Kat, I think that would make beautiful wallpaper.  I'm in

[De Villo Sloan]

I didn't expect this amount of interest in the Martha Stuart Asemic Wallpaper School. Please note I changed the spelling because it turns out there is a Martha Stewart who has already copied my idea. Can you believe it?

 

Diane, I think you should consider enrolling. You are accepted on the basis of your submission. I have some shocking news to report. Helen Amyes has told me of a performance artist in Australia. His current gig is blowing up stone quarries. But this guy CLAIMS HE INVENTED ROADKILL IN THE 1970s. So, DK, you might want to consider a new artistic direction. This asemic wallpaper thing - I'm telling you - get in on the ground floor. 

[De Villo Sloan]

Keep the orders rolling in! I am in secret negotiations with some MAJOR investors. Katerina says she has enough asemia to paper a room or two (Kat has been accepted in the school BTW!). If anyone could actually create any demonstration models - dioramas or photos of what rooms in FASHIONABLE homes would like papered with asemic writing - I could use those. I'm going to have to "pitch this to the suits."

[DKeys]

Please accept my submission for consideration into your fine institution. 

[De Villo Sloan]

EXCELLENT KATERINA! I cannot shower you with enough praise. I will use your shredpo interior designs in my Powerpoint presentation to market Asemic Wallpaper.

 

Tell people proudly! You are at the top of your class at the Martha Stuart School of Asemic Wallpaper! Unfortunately, since there are only two students enrolled, Diane is at the bottom of the class.