Elsa von Freytag-loringhoven, long dead, sent me this instructional manual on how not to draw a cat as well as an invitation to friend this jolly Brooklyn realtor (done and done). Elsa's quotes are reprinted here for the benefit of those who, like me, have trouble seeing: "Why isn't Santa Fe in Arizona?" A very good question, Elsa and one I'm looking into. "Yours truly, Elsa Freytag. I may be dead but I'm still kicking." "David, this happy man desperately wants to be your friend (get in line, buddy). Will you make his dream come true?" And finally: "Everything is dada until someone loses an eye." So true. Thank you, Elsa. I will never draw a cat like this again. This I do affirm.
Yesterday the doorbell rang. Just once. It was the postman looking for the 21 cents Mason Keys owed him. I coughed up a quarter as a good faith gesture. He said he would return today with my four cents. I run deficits like this all the time. This is the world of high finance in which I operate. Anyway, inside the envelope...
A new comic from Mason, Diane's son and a key figure in the DKult hierarchy. As above I have provided the viewer with transcriptions for the reading impaired. Glad to see the pens deployed, Mason. I'm going to make a rash statement here and just flat out that anyone as obsessed with the unicycles as you are should be given one by the Unicycling Society of America. This I do affirm.
Also enclosed in Mason's envelope was another envelope from Diane which contained, among other things, a plea for help. Diane's always sending me these pleas and I've instructed my Foundation to send her instructions on how to apply for a grant through proper channels. Over the years, the Stafford Foundation has given out hundreds of block grants to mail artists, who through no fault of their own, have wound up in Elgin. This is just part of our outreach. It's what we do. Thank you, Diane and Mason for just being you or someone very much like yourselves.