Only Once in a Quadringentesimus Does Something Like This Come Along...

A light fell upon him as he contemplated the great Shroud of Elgin...

At first the light burned a little...

Then he was filled with the spirit of Trashpo, and De Villo Sloan felt compelled to share with the masses the miraculous wonders of that tattered blue cloth--which sometimes glowed in the dark if you stared at it hard enough in the blackness of night.   And so, the great Shroud was torn assunder and sent to the far corners of the earth.  

As a result there now exist many denominations of the Church of DKult, with many altars and shrines that hold pieces of that blessed relic.  Devotees are no longer forced to spend their life savings to make the long pilgrimage to upstate New York to witness the mircles.  Now they can bask in the tattered remains of that humble article of clothing in their very own neighborhoods.

My altar piece arrived in a simple envelope--secured with duct tape--so I knew the envelope had to contain something of grave importance... Something Trashpo-rific...

I immediately made a place of honor for the holy relic:

To the left you might see a representation of the Egyptian god Osirus, torn to shreds by his brother Set and scattered around the world (not unlike the Shroud of Elgin).  To the right, you might see a bust of Diana, goddess of the hunt and the moon--keeper of veiled mysteries (also like the Shroud of Elgin).  One is represented in white; one is represented in black, just like the twin pillars Joachin and Boaz at the entrance of King Solomon's Temple--the gateway through which one had to pass in order to experience the mysteries within.

The shroud lies resplendant under the watchful eyes of the triple image of DK, who in turn is watched over by the syncretous god Antinous.  Antinous was the lover of the Roman emperor Hadrian, and was the only real-life human person to be honored with the rank of "god" by the Roman Empire after he drowned in the Nile... Antinous represents the miracle of, "meh, stranger things have happened..."

Accompanying this sacred objet were several documents touting its authenticity.  They had the appearance and timbre of a chain letter, but for the faithful trust I owe to the power of story-telling, the mention of several respected mail art acquaintances, and the fact that the letter was COLOR-copied, I took it at its word as being the REAL THING.

Additionally, several other documents were enclosed, in a kind of Trashpo FRENZY...

Holism (with contributions by both Dark Wall and Marie Wintzer):

Cerealism (Currealism?):

Certificationism; Grammatical Catyclism:

These things paired nicely with a previous work of Trashpo sent by De Villo--a rare and complex piece of Trashpo indeed:

I'd been told that there is no such thing as a 'free lynch,' but apparently financing is available, and flood insurance is guaranteed in case you are overwhelmed by your tears of joy.  The large array of chair options on the menu is ideal for recipients who are swept off their feet.  Composition within this piece is impressive, and painted elements provide a trompe l'oeil distressed effect apreciated by connoisseurs of l'arte Trash-poètique.

I am always most impressed when I learn something new, and De Villo didn't disappoint... he sent some new vocabulary for me to enjoy...

Thank you, De Villo!

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Comment by Thom Courcelle on April 23, 2012 at 11:02pm

Boaz means/represents "strength"; and Joachin means/represents "established under God."  Some Jewish scholars feel that they represent the two kings: David and Solomon.  They are referenced in the Bible at 1 Kings 7:15 - 22.

Comment by Thom Courcelle on April 23, 2012 at 10:52pm

Nancy, you make me LAUGH!  Bless you...

You can see a reference to the Pillars of Solomon's Temple on the Smith-Waite tarot card called the Priestess card.  They are even marked with a "B" and a "J":

Coincidentally, the priestess on the card DOES have an uncanny resemblance to Joan Baez:

Comment by Nancy Bell Scott on April 23, 2012 at 10:17pm

Oh yah, that was on my first fast read-through, KDJ. It's actually Thom's reference to "Joachin and Boaz."

Comment by De Villo Sloan on April 23, 2012 at 6:01pm

Is a DKult pimple a D-imple? I think someone received a shroud shred with butt-ons.

Comment by De Villo Sloan on April 23, 2012 at 3:58pm

And what about the zits? I'm pus-zled.

Comment by Nancy Bell Scott on April 23, 2012 at 3:53pm

A most pedestrian question: why do you mention Joan Baez once and then she's gone.

Comment by Thom Courcelle on April 23, 2012 at 6:56am

That is the longest distance case of contagious butt acne I have ever heard of.  Are you sure this isn't a viscious rumor spread by jealous mail artists?  Have you checked snopes.com about this?

Comment by De Villo Sloan on April 23, 2012 at 4:48am

Ramone sufrió de estas ronchas en el culo en México. El Sr. Stubbs expuestos por el culo a la luz de la Sábana Santa de Elgin. La imposición se desvaneció. Esta enfermedad puede ser resultado de el juego de Twister.

Es el culo en español el mismo trasero?

 
Comment by DKULT on April 23, 2012 at 3:23am

i'm at a loss for words. This is the second butt picture I've unwittingly seen today. Don'tknow quite what to make of it. But get this person a shroud fast!!

Comment by De Villo Sloan on April 23, 2012 at 12:44am

For the Elgin Shroud skin cure: Please post a  picture of of your pimples. We must assess the seriousness of the zit-uation.

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