Erni's package, where performance and Mail Art collide – Warning: Photos are graphic!

[Dean aka Artist in Seine]

A long day last Friday which ended in a surprise.  We got home very late (or early in the morning) from seeing the Paris avant premiere of "The Iron Lady" which was a good film but I fell asleep 3 times.  Meryl Streep was fab in the role of Margaret Thatcher.  Too tired to go to sleep we chatted awhile in the kitchen when I noticed that I still had not opened Erni’s package.  There was already a hole in the side of the box which looked like something had eaten its way out.

Already the outside of the package had secret messages.  I'm not sure why my wife took a close up picture of this, skinny men are so boring!

And some less secret messages.  (I took this photo because I wanted to include it, good for the morale)

You can never be too careful with Erni’s packages as you never know what will be in there.  Something could jump out at any moment.

Inside I found treasure of wonders and excitement, now its 2:30am but I'm not sleepy at all.

Yes, full of interesting items and a mysterious tube, now what could that be?

I start to take the tube apart to see what was inside when my wife said, “Wait, read the instructions first”.  I looked at her; “Don’t be silly, this is Mail Art? There aren’t any instructions in Mail Art.”, I said with a frown on my face.  “No, look there are instructions on the side of the package”, she said.  At this time, 11 February 2012 at 2:40am I realize that there are major differences between my wife and myself.  Like the time we got a new VHS player and she spent hours reading the instructions, where I just plugged it in and started playing around with the buttons.  By the way, it still just flashes 12:00 .

"It says you must jump on the tube", she said.  "Jump on the tube?  Oh I get it, I bet there is paint inside the tube and when I jump on it, it will make a pretty design on the paper."  And as I like to humor my wife, I said "OK, I won't jump, I'll just stand on it, besides, we don't want it going all over the kitchen"

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard,
To give the poor dog a bone:
When she got there,
The cupboard was full of Mayonnaise,

And so the poor dog had none!

And Boom, the tube exploded ...

Actually there are times that one wishes he had a dog to clean this all up!

The Mayonnaise sprayed up to 2 meters (6 feet) high and in my hair.

I call this one Shadows of Mayonnaise

or Landscape from Lord of the Rings?

How it got from ground zero to my hair and in the back of my sweater is beyond me!

Only if we had a canvas!

Nearly cleaned up, but don't forget the coller.  Little did we know it, but 3 days after we would still find bits everywhere in the tiny corners.Like dunes on a setting sunset

Well I guess we are happy that it wasn't paint.

Freud's Mayonnaise blot test?

A close encounter of the Mayonnaise kind.

So don't try this at home!  PS Dear Erni, My wife thanks you as this is the first time her husband has ever cleaned every inch of the kitchen.  What a Show !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Alicia Starr]

hahahahahaha. One question Dean, did you both jump when the mayo exploded? Great documentation.

Now this is a side of Erni i've not seen before. ;---)  p.s. love the zested oranges in the background.

[DKeys]

You all are so classy, taking the high road on this, but I can't help but be amused that the headline for this is "Erni's package."

[Nancy Bell Scott]

Ok, this is one of the top wildest things I've seen here yet. The courage of Erni, Dean, and Dean's wife is remarkable. This is a tenfold wow, at least! Breakfast this morning will probably not happen, because mayo not mixed in with tunafish is just flat-out disgusto to me. Yuckkkkkkk. Excellent project all the way 'round! :--D 

[Louise Kiner]

I always like mayo with my fries.
Good thing it wasn't peanut butter, I guess.

[DKeys]

Great performance Piece between Erni and Dean--glad this wasn't done live except for your wife. Mayonnaise never looked so unappetizing. Great blog Dean-very funny!

[prettylily]

Erni probably thought you wouldn't follow the instructions!

[cheryl penn]

Now you see them now you don't - o - wrong way round 

now you don't see them, then you do...

[Dean aka Artist in Seine]

Vizma, at least you'll have sheep to help clean up!

[vizma bruns]

Hilarious blog, Dean!  Those mayo pics are frameworthy!!

I might try that tonight!!

[Katerina Nikoltsou (MomKat)]

So it really was mayo? What fun...all over the kitchen, but NOT on the hanging bananas!

ALWAYs, always, always open packages from the Haptic Werewolf CAREFULLY,

but you always get a smile on your face (and maybe some mayo, too)

Lucky you, Dean! 

(good thing you "jumped" in the kitchen, and not on a rare Oriental carpet ;-)