The Martha Stuart School of Asemic Wallpaper - Start Your Career Today! - Special Discount for Prisoners

The Martha Stuart School of Asemic Wallpaper

Founder:
Martha Stuart
Administration:
Katerina Nikoltsou, Dean of Asemics
Diane Keys, Minister of Propaganda, Student Ambassador
Snooker the Amazing Mail-art Dog, Dean of Men
David Stafford, Dean of Women
De Villo Sloan
Current Students:
Sue Bowen
Dark wall
Diane Keys 
Katerina Nikoltsou
KDJ
My Life As A Collage
Austin Wills James
Applications still being accepted! Post your work in the MSSAWP discussion thread!
Don't put off today what you can do tomorrow!
Our state-of-the-art facilities put you an environment that will be very similar to your first big job after graduation
What are you waiting for? Let's roll!
"Why put off today what you can do tomorrow?"
- Martha Stuart (advice to John Lennon and Yoko Ono during the recording of Revolution #9)
Our faculty and staff are here to serve you!

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Replies to This Discussion

A historic message Dean Nikoltsou. We have completed the first term at Martha Stuart. However, I would leave the doors open for the summer if anyone wants to work on projects. I am deeply disappointed we saw little progress in the development of asemic headgear. I am certain this will be a growth area for the future.

 

I want to announce Diane Keys has been awarded the Martha Stuart Medal of Achievement for her blog post "Received My First Hate Mail-Art." This collaborative piece is a stunning exploration of bodily excretions in mail-art and the history of mailing severed human ears.

 

Also included is a biographical profile of bass player Klaus Voormann - who was a close personal friend of our founder Martha Stuart during the era when Martha developed asemic gas masks that were used by the Plastic Ono Band. It is a stunning portrait.

 

This amazing piece of writing was inspired by provocative mail-art from Jim Hayes.

Wow, thank you for this medal. I'm wearing my MS School Color Letter Sweater with Pride today--burnt orange and putrid green. He taught me so much about unusual color combinations and how conditioned we are to only find complimentary ones pleasing. I quote him when I say, "Better to be hated, than nothing at all." I heard the school got quite a lot of hate mail through the years, but that was mostly due to the Friday night drag shows and Black and White Trash Parties. Jim Hayes has made me feel important--even if I am unneccesary and reactionary, it's better than fading into the asemic wallpaper. The following portion of this post is offensive and R rated, as will be the Hater Line of Asemic Wallpaper I'm working on. Please don't read if you are easily offended because I'm really not up for anymore hate mail. I was inspired by Jim's MA and also some recent trashpo finds. One was a garage sale sign that has "Fuck you Bitch" written over it and another was found near the school and is a piece of paper that says "Fuck You Hard." I just hope I'm not crossing over to the dark side where Dark Wall resides. Thanks again for the award.

Eloquent Diane, I don't think anyone else could say it better. I think it best to refer to our founder as "she" and "her." Even Martha's most admiring friends will tell you: "Martha cursed like a sailor." I'm moved to tears by your remarks.

 

KDJ's additions to the curriculum are wonderful, BTW.

 

You bring up Dark Wall. Dark Wall was, perhaps, the one error of an otherwise spotless term. I am not free to discuss the ALLEGED beating and subsequent hospitalization. But I am happy to report he will be returning next term.

 

You know DK, I once had the pleasure of meeting Martha's roommate from Harvard days. Martha used to run through the halls gayly shouting: "No pigs in your rooms after lights out, girls!" Diane, I think those words of wisdom apply especially to you (wink, wink)

Martha also taught me rules are meant to be broken. I always knew Stubbs was Harvard material. DW, now maybe you'll have time to write that novel you always talk about

Have a great summer guys! Don't worry about me. I'll see ya next term!

You made me think of historical accuracy, DK. Martha could have attended Harvard because she would have enrolled as a male. Stubbs is male too. I don't think women were allowed to attend Harvard until...? I think they had to enroll at Radcliffe College. I think. Could have it all messed up.
I actually think Stubbs was working maintenance at the time but when they discovered he was doing Martha's work for her, they enrolled him. I think Martha was pre-op at the time, but she never fully revealed her gender. To me, she was all woman. She sure knew her way around a mall, knew how to make hospital corners (immense knowledge of thread count), had more beauty secrets than a supermodel on crack. How else do you think she stayed looking so young and fit well into her sixties?

And to get the facts straight - Martha did attend Harvard. She studied psychology with Dr. Timothy Leary (ever heard of him?) when he was, in truth, a faculty member and researcher there. This was right before her famous partnership with Bob Dylan and their equally famous break over "creative issues." Now do you understand why Mick Ronson signed on as lead guitar player for Dylan's Rolling Thunder Tour? Mick Ronson HATED Martha. He joined Dylan out of spite - because there is no other explanation for why a glam rocker in high heels would have ended up as Dylan's guitar player. For some great and scary late night hotel room scenes with Mick Ronson see the movie "Renaldo and Clara." This fist fight footage with Martha probably exists - but was cut from the film.

 

Stubbs, alas, was never a Harvard man. He did participate in some experiments at the Cornell Agriculture School involving pork irradiation, but never received a degree.

You know, I knew that porcine was lying to me again. He said he was made a student AND that he graduated with honors. He even said he was on the track team. God am I naive. Martha used to name drop all the time, but at least I know she wasn't pathologically lying to me. Many songs have been inspired by her haven't they? Dylan? Timothy Leary ? sounds like her crowd how else could he have thought of the asemic wallpaper idea? Peyote on.
thanks dk! congrats on the medal! as soon as the paralysis clears up in my hands i'm gonna start that novel! i'll always have the neurological damage from the blows to my head, but my eyesight and powers of speech should be back 65% in a few months. so things are lookin good. thanks

 

Well, if you could stop grabbing those nurses for half a second, I'm sure your PT and recovery would go a lot quicker. I've heard several have actually quit the entire profession based on their experiences with you. glad you're out of the body cast even thought I never got to sign it. I'd really limit your political activities to writing nasty letters or handing out fliers like those apocalyptic street corner prophets just minus the megaphone. You've made yourself a target better to lay low.....

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