Jen Is Not Pregnant

Comment

Comment by Jen Staggs on November 23, 2011 at 4:00am

Told Fonzie about theoretical twins.  He said "Harumph!" and won't stop pouting.

Comment by E on November 22, 2011 at 10:49pm

Comment by De Villo Sloan on November 22, 2011 at 9:58pm

good one, Val. But we don't know the Jen-der.

 

How do you break water? Must be labor intensive.

Comment by Valentine Mark Herman on November 22, 2011 at 9:28pm

Jen's baby should be called 'Knodle ' (unless it has a big nose [unlikely], not much hair [probable, at birth], glasses [mmm!] and speaks with a British accent [no comment] in which case it should be called 'Valentine Mark').

(Does that sentence win a prize for its use of multiple brackets?)[ ]

Knodle (it is supposed to have two dots over the o, an oomlaut [but I can't do oomlauts]) was the name of our first Siamese cat. It's full non-pedigree name, was Knodel DePussy Herman.

How is this related to the Stagg-to-be, or not-to-be, that is the question?

And here is the answer.

I suggest the link is a Phantom Pregnancy (with capitals).

In the early 70's, we went to a local vet to see if there was a cat or kitten that we could adopt.

A few days later we were offered a young female Siamese cat that had been abandoned and was due to be put down unless we rescued it, which we did.

The cat had a very good pedigree, and the vet told us that she was pregnant, and even had documentary evidence of the father's pedigree.

One of her pedigree kittens could have been sold for about the money we had to live on for a month in those student days.

The vet said that the cat had to be nurtured, and fed well, otherwise she would loose the kittens.

So we fed her caviar, duck, chicken, prime beef ... all the things that you ate in those student days when you were impoverished and living on a very tight budget.

The cat came wth a very pretentious pedigree name which I have forgotten.

We also 'adopted' about the same time, or rather he adopted us' an Austrian Ph D student named Manfred who lived in our attic (he later became Chancellor of a  very serious German university). Manfred was not too happy about English food (although the caviar etc would have been to his liking, but he never got any, because it was all given to the cat), and would always drone on and on and on and on about his mother'rs fat and succulent dumplings -- or 'Knodles'.

We decided to call our new cat, who was neither fat nor succulent, but skinny and half-starved, Knodle.

She never produced any kittens. Apparently it was a 'Phantom Pregnancy' -- but she did expect to eat caviar, duck, chicken and prime beef for the rest of her life.

And so if the not-to-be-Stagg is to have a real or Phantom name I think it should be Knodle.

Thank you all so much for reading this nonsense.

Val

Comment by DKeys on November 22, 2011 at 8:11pm

Comment by DKeys on November 22, 2011 at 7:10pm

I hope there's good cake at this baby shower. The baby(s) should be named after their father, should Jen choose to disclose the mail art baby daddy

Comment by Guido Vermeulen on November 22, 2011 at 7:02pm

More poetic, an older collage: PARADISE LOST ...

Comment by Guido Vermeulen on November 22, 2011 at 7:01pm

Okay, a bit gruesome but to make fun of the Occupy movement. We have to be able to make fun of ourselves or not, I am backing OWL. Called this: let us Occupy posh restaurants because capitalists are eating proletarian babies!

Comment by Jen Staggs on November 22, 2011 at 6:36pm

Glad it made it, DVS. And non-pregnancy bonus: Maternity Pasties.  Now taking suggestions on Non-Twin's names, and eagerly awaiting the arrival of the Mail Stork/postman's barrage of Baby-Po (i.e., Progeny-Po or Gestationism).  To wit, I am registering at Babies R' Flux.

Comment by Ruud Janssen on November 22, 2011 at 6:32pm

received mine today!

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