The Martha Stuart School of Asemic Wallpaper - Start Your Career Today! - Special Discount for Prisoners

[De Villo Sloan]

The Martha Stuart School of Asemic Wallpaper

Founder:

Martha Stuart

Administration:

Katerina Nikoltsou, Dean of Asemics

Diane Keys, Minister of Propaganda, Student Ambassador

Snooker the Amazing Mail-art Dog, Dean of Men

David Stafford, Dean of Women

De Villo Sloan

Current Students:

Sue Bowen

Dark wall

Diane Keys 

Katerina Nikoltsou

KDJ

My Life As A Collage

Austin Wills James

Applications still being accepted! Post your work in the MSSAWP discussion thread!

Don't put off today what you can do tomorrow!

Our state-of-the-art facilities put you an environment that will be very similar to your first big job after graduation

What are you waiting for? Let's roll!

"Why put off today what you can do tomorrow?"

- Martha Stuart (advice to John Lennon and Yoko Ono during the recording of Revolution #9)

Our faculty and staff are here to serve you!

[DKeys]

These are hilarious Kat. You are excellent with photoshop.The kitty doesn't seem to like the industrial style, but I think it looks fabulous! I think the horizontal strips make the room appear larger.

[DKeys]

Wow I'm amazed how realistic these look! The real way is more fun. I think a wall of pizza boxes would be great

[De Villo Sloan]

C'mon kids! Let's see some of that AMAZING Martha Stuart School Spirit here! Let's take some pride in our school! You can get a lot done before the pep rally!

[De Villo Sloan]

Here's our official alma mater. Have it memorized for the pep rally:

[De Villo Sloan]

And could you PLEASE take a moment to remember our founder - Martha Stuart. In 1967 he dreamed of bringing affordable and tasteful asemic wallpaper to homes across the globe. It is now up to you fulfill Martha's vision. He worked his buns off to establish the scholarship fund that is making your education possible. I know you kids thing "it's a drag." But show a little respect for Martha.

[DKeys]

I'm going to have to leave this one up to Kat. All my ideas keep going helterskelter. He sounds like a very nice client though. Martha is rocking that look. We owe it all to shim and I will always be grateful. Well off the YMCA

[De Villo Sloan]

Diane, our new Charlie's Angels (helterskelter) line of asemic wallpaper has already been discontinued. The school has been served with a cease-and-desist order. Two characters named Ramone and Stubbs complained "Death to Pigs" was animal cruelty or something and a judge bought it. Have you ever heard of these characters?

 

Thanks to them - we lost our first big account. Interesting you should mention the Beatles' "Helter Skelter." Legend has it that "Martha My Dear" (also on the White Album) was written about none other than our founder Martha Stuart. He was supposed to do an asemic cover for the White Album but had a terrible fight with Yoko Ono. That's why it was left blank. Martha later teamed up with David Bowie. Shagadelic Baby! Our school has a proud history. 

 

[DKeys]

I am very proud to wear the school boa. I had no idea what a legacy Martha left behind. Do you think Martha Stewart was named after him? I do know this Ramone and Stubbs. They are both no good. They cause more chaos and heartbreak than a natural disaster. I can't believe they lost us our first customer. And he was such a nice guy too. Who are they to squeel about ethics?Twister hustlers.That's all they are.

[De Villo Sloan]

Diane, I'm sure Martha Stuart is beaming in heaven to know someone like you is enrolled in our school.

 

I can't recall whether you are an on- or off-campus student. Mr. Ramone and Mr. Stubbs, of course, are not allowed to make overnight visits on campus. I can't understand why a student of your caliber would associate with them. I shall schedule an appointment with the dean - should you wish to discuss any personal matters relating to your friendship with Mr. Ramone and Mr. Stubbs.

 

Mr. Manson seemed to be a very personable fellow. I did find the swastika carved on his forehead a little off-putting. He was very disappointed when I shared the sad news with him.

 

I am thrilled to learn of your enthusiasm concerning the history of our school. Some contend that our founder was actually MARRIED to Martha Stewart before his historic "coming out" announcement in 1972 - the year he traveled with David Bowie on the legendary Ziggy Stardust tour as hairdresser and asemic prop coordinator. Martha was, however, forced to leave the tour after a terrible fistfight with Mick Ronson - a musician, sadly departed, whose career might yield some interesting information.

 

Ah yes, our institution is steeped in history. I will make a note of the fact that you are on-campus after hours, no doubt preparing for midterms.

[De Villo Sloan]

Please take a moment to welcome Sue Bowen. She has been accepted to the Martha Stuart School of Asemic Wallpaper on the basis of a phenomenal submission, Sue, we've recently been talking about school history and we also now have an alma mater. You might want to have a look. Welcome to Martha Stuart!

[DKeys]

Welcome Sue! I'm sure you will like it here very much. It's a lot of hard work, but the assembly line way DVS runs it, teaches you valuable lessons about conformity and not questioning authority. Actually if you do, you face expulsion.There is a great prisoner correspondence program where we build rapport to drum up business, in the event of early release and sudden decorating binges. I think we even take government assistance for payment but I'm not sure. You'd have to check with the treasurer on that. I'm usually knee deep in wallpaper glue, but feel free to stop by my dorm room anytime. I sometimes keep unsavory company, but you are welcome to join us for a game of Friday night twister.

[De Villo Sloan]

Diane, you are a credit to the Student Ambassador Program.